My Own Little World
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking :)

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

<Katie> ugh today sucked balls. first thing, i got a 61 on my alg 2 quiz that i took last week and we had a test today and i failed that too. yay for me. so now i really do have a C in that class and i asked my counselour for names of tutors and i lost that sheet so i cant call anyone. in english i was banished to timeout in the corner for laughing and then andrew called my cell which rang during class and she got even more mad at me and made me stay after class. which made me late for meeting this girl that iw as supposed to go home with after school to work on our history project. so im sure tomorrow im gonna get my butt chewed out for not working on our project. isnt it great being me?? i mean the only good thing is that happened was that i got a 100 on my chemistry test. but that was easy so no biggie. ahhh can today get any worse?? </Katie> <!--4:25 PM-->

Sunday, September 15, 2002

<Katie> I hate farriers. My horse desperately needs his feet trimmed but the stupid farrier comes out and just decides NOT to do it. so my poor horses shoe has rotated and is hanging off his foot. darn the farrier. you have to call him every day 3 weeks before JUST to get him out on time. ahhh it makes me mad and stressful. i dont like things that make me stressed. i went to my old schools football game friday. it was good to see my old friends, but other people made me mad. for instance, i was talking to this guy and a group of girls that were in my class kept staring at me. it was retarded. i have come to realize that there are just some people that i dont like. but then there are others that i love. so its a good balance :) im excited because amanda's coming to grapevines football game friday. its gonna be pimp. school is making me sad. dont get me wrong, i love it, but the homework and tests and projects are getting to me. i never had this much stuff at fdub. its kinda overwhelming and stressful. therefore i dont like it and it puts me in a sad mood. so, in order to change this, im going to make a daily list of things i love- this should change my mood :) hooray for weekends. </Katie> <!--11:03 AM-->

Friday, September 06, 2002

<Katie> i really do love school. my history teacher is awesome. she's really funny and talks about stupid people and makes fun the the stupid people in history. she's the funniest teacher ive ever had. ashton and i are going to try out for fillies this year. wahoo! and today we had a retard in the lunchroom that was like dancing. it was funny. and i got the nickname nipples. dont ask. and some guys backpack got pissed on and he was mad about it but i found the whole thing hilarious. so he doesnt like me. but do i! it was just an all around good day because it was a B day and B days are pointless. </Katie> <!--4:23 PM-->

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

<Katie> "had a bad day again
she said i would not understand
she left a note and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again

she spilled her coffe, broke her shoelace
smeared the lipstick on her face
slammed the door and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again

and she swears there's nothing wrong
i hear her playing the same old song
she puts me off and puts me on

and had a bad day again
she said i would not understand
left a note and said i'm sorry i
had a bad day again"

thats all i can say about today...i failed my first test ever in my entire life. it was a momentous occasion. part of me feels normal now, because everyone fails a test at least once in their life. this was that moment for me. although i must say that feeling normal didnt feel too good. i wanted to cry. i dont fail. im an overachiever who gets good grades. how could i fail? maybe because the math program at my old school sucked balls and i didnt learn anything or maybe because my new school is so much freakin harder....i dont know, its a toss up between the two. but i was glad because the chemistry test i thought i failed, it turned out that i got an 88 which is good. but its still a B, still not good enough for me. i am an A person. Bs are unacceptable, at least for me. now i will never get into a good college, i'll never get a good job, i'll never become successful and i'll live in poverty the rest of my life. sounds swell doesnt it?? yes i know. yay for me.
</Katie> <!--10:09 PM-->

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

<Katie> "i pretended im glad you went away. these 4 walls close more in every day. and im dieing inside and nobody knows it but me. like a clown i put on a show. pain is real even if nobody knows.and im crying inside and noboyd knows it but me. why didnt i say the things i needed to say? how i could i let my angel get away? now my world is just crumbling down. i can say it so clear but you're no where around. the nights are lonely the days are so sad. i keep thinking about the love that we had. and im missin you and nobody knows it but me. i carry a smile when im broke into to. im tremblin inside and nobody knows it but me. lie awake its a quarter past 3. im screaming and i never thought you'd hear me. yea my heart is callin you. and nobody knows it but me. how blue could i get? you could ask my heart. my life, a jigsaw puzzle, its been torn all apart. million words couldnt say just how i feel. a million years from now you know, i'll be loving you still. the nights are lonely the days are so sad. i keep thinking about the love that we had. and im missin you and nobody knows it but me. tomorrow morn im hittin the dusty road. im gonna find you wherever ever you might go. im gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me. said when the nights are lonely. the nights are lonely the days are so sad. i keep thinking about the love that we had. and im missin you and nobody knows it but me. the nights are lonely the days are so sad. i keep thinking about the love that we had. and im missin you and nobody knows it but me." Babyface </Katie> <!--7:06 PM-->

Monday, July 15, 2002

<Katie> it has been a long time since i have last written. but i feel compelled to write now. i have thought about a topic and many things have been brought to my attention like food, clothes, punching people....but right now it just doesn't seem like the right thing to write about. i did realize today that i wish i was one of those people who can create something out of nothing. i made emily macaroni art today and i sat there staring at macaroni out of lack ideas. but then the macaroni reminded me of my the little pieces seemed small and insignificant but all together they complete something. and if one piece of the macaroni was removed from the finished thing, it wouldn't be the same. i guess the macaroni represents the people in my life. without any one of them, my life wouldn't be the same. now you might think macaroni art is retarded, but its the simple things in life that make me happy </Katie> <!--11:01 PM-->

Sunday, June 16, 2002

<Katie> well i have returned from florida (although i didn't really wish to come home). I spent the most incredible 2 weeks there. Now i know i am always the one who says that teenagers dont know what love is, but i just proved myself wrong. i still strongly believe that we are not going to meet our future husband when we are 15 (in most instances). but those past 2 weeks has made me look differently at love. i met a guy in florida. Brandon was working at the shaved ice stand where we were staying. So we got to talking and we became friends and started hanging out on his off days and whenever he was bored he would come over and talk to me down on the beach when he was working. He invited me to go to the movies the first friday we were there and we went and saw spiderman. so the second week we passed the time by taking walks on the beach that ended up taking 3 hours (hehe) and going kayaking and swimming and relaxing in the hot tub. I could have stayed there forever with him but the inevitable came- it was time for me to come home. yes i was a poor pathetic girl and cried when i said my goodbyes. i cried the whole way out of destin. i didnt want to leave him. Our relationship now rests on daily telephone calls and hours spent on the internet with each other. now i'm still unsure if i infact understand what true love is. but i do know that i care about him a great deal. he means more to me than anything else in the world. i could have stayed down there with him for the rest of my life. i would be willing to do that- to give up everything to be with him. but i know that my life must continue and that God works in indescribable ways. So if we're meant to be, we'll be. If we're not, then i thank him for the 2 best weeks of my entire life. At first I was angry with God for having bad timing. If this happened like 7 years in the future then maybe we could be together. But i know God's timing has purposes which I cannot understand. So there is no reason for me to be angry. I only have to be thankful for bringing him into my life. </Katie> <!--11:50 AM-->


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